Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
so let's talk penis.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
