We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
