I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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