he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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