i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
