Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize