vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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