I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
