I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
