my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize