I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
