I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
