There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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