i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
