Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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