hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
