remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
