I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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