This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
