he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
