I just made out with a guy for $7.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
