i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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