okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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