That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
