My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
love makes seman taste better
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
