My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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