Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
