dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
