Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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