There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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