Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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