It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize