dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
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