You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize