I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
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