Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
