I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
