this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
it hurts more in the daytime
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Blood and glitter go together right?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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