i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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