How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize