The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
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