These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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