Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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