Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Randomize
