I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
