i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
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