I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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