She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Randomize
