Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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