So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Randomize
