if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
