I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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