Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
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