you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
