You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize