Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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