She's JV to your varsity
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
