She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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