sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
