If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
