I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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