It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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