At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Randomize
