the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
