also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
