It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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