you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Life is so much better after having sex.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
