We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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