I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
