Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
