My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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