You smell like a Billy Joel song
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
