you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
