addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
