shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
