That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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