Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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