2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
