Me too!
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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