i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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