? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I want to have your abortion
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
pray to the hookup gods
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
