Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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