When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
